She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Randomize
