you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
