the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
