We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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