oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Randomize
