okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
