How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
