last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
