You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
