at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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