her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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