She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
