i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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