i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
