we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
