You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
