I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
