Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
