your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
