two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
