His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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