We're facebook friends in real life
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
