look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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