I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
