It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
