She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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