so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
my being single is dangerous.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
