Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Pants are for mortals
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
