Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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