I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
