is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
