I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
