Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
