1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I want her autograph on my taint
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Randomize
