I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
