My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
