Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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