i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
