his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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