Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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