Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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