He felt like a one man threesome
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
