you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
