lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
