I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
