is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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