Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
