if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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