the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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