I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
